A Guy’s Guide to Speed Dating

So, you have taken the plunge and decided that speed dating is the way to meet a woman. The bar scene was a bust and online dating sites just didn’t give you that face to face connection that you were looking for. Now, as you prepare to “date” ten to fifteen women in just one night, you are probably wondering how you can, in a matter of about ten minutes, determine if the woman before you has long term potential.

Well, it is easier than it sounds and by asking a few pointed questions you can decide if the woman sitting across from you is the girl of your dreams.

Why did your last relationship end?

This can tell you a lot about a girl. If she left the relationship because he was abusive or cheated on her it shows that she is strong. She won’t be pushed around. That’s a good thing.

However, if she says he didn’t buy her gifts or they didn’t go out to fancy restaurants enough, it could be a tip off that she is one high maintenance gal.

Listen carefully to her answers and read between the lines.

Have you ever been married or do you want to get married?

If you are looking for a girl who is marriage material, it is good to see if her head is in the right place and is speed dating you have to move fast and ask more pointed questions to see if she is right for you. If she starts blasting marriage the moment that you ask, then she may not be the right one.

On the other hand, if she acts as if she is desperate to get married, well, that isn’t so great either. Dating sites are full of women (and men) who want nothing more than to get married.

If she responds that she would like to find a partner, someone to share her life with, she might be a good choice.

Do you want (or have) children?

Don’t shy away from this question, remember, this is speed dating. You are checking to see if you share similar values – and you have a very short time in which to do your evaluations. Of course, if she wants kids and you don’t, or vice versa, then the two of you probably aren’t a great match.

If she has kids, seriously consider if you can handle dealing with another man’s kids. Also, watch how she responds when you ask about them. If you can see the love that she has for them, the devotion, that is usually a good thing.

What are your hobbies and interests?

This is a no-brainer. You need to see if the two of you share any common interests or hobbies. Ask what she does for fun. The advantage here as opposed to dating sites is that you can see the passion in her face when she talks about something that is very meaningful to her. Don’t just listen, watch.

What are the things that you are most proud of in your life?

Ah, a question of substance. But watch the speed dating rules because you could wind up talking extensively on this one topic. See where her priorities lie. Is she proud of her children, her intellect, her creativity? Those are intrinsic things, very nice.

But if she is proud of her shiny car or big house or bracelet with a gazillion diamonds, it is probably best that you drop this gal like a hot rock. She’s high maintenance, brother, and unless you want to spend your entire paycheck on her expensive tastes, you best move on.

If I made you angry, how would you react?
Would she clam up? Would she throw things and yell? Would she try to talk about it? The response to this question will reveal a lot about the woman you are talking to. Listen to what she says and put yourself in that place with her. Is that where you want to me? Or will you wind up a casualty of her wrath?

If you didn’t get far with the dating sites and have decided to go with speed dating, you will probably be pleasantly surprised. Just assemble your list prior to arriving at the venue and be ready to fire the questions, evaluate the answers and find a prize.

Making the Most of Singles Events

So, you are single and you are thinking that attending a few singles events might liven up your social life a little.  Maybe you are looking for “Mr. Right,” or maybe just “Mr. Right Now.”  Whatever the case a fun singles event like speed dating or a dinner party might be just what the doctor ordered.

Structured is Often Better
Have you been to a singles event where there really was not structure?  Say you are 30-something and you go to this event that is wide open as far as age range.  There may be a few folks there who are in your age range, but how can you pick them out?  It is better to have a targeted age range and work on a smaller scale than it is to wade through people who are too young or too old for your taste.  Find singles events that have more of a focus, whether it’s age, career, or something else.  You will stand a better chance of meeting someone you’re interested in and who is interested in you.

Mingle
When you are at a singles event, don’t attach yourself to one person and stick with them the entire time.  You also don’t want to just hide out in a corner all night.  You need to get out there, mingle with the other attendees.   It may seem awkward or difficult at first, but make yourself do it.  Make eye contact, smile and say hello.  Start a conversation, something like, “Wow, did you expect this many people to show up?” or “Is this your first time?” 

Don’t be afraid to Talk
As you mingle, don’t be afraid to talk.  Ask open ended questions like, “What did you expect when you signed up for this?” or “What kinds of people have you met at these events?”  As they answer, respond and keep the conversation going.  If someone talks to you, don’t clam up.  Talk back!

Bring a Small Notebook and Pen
When you go to a singles event, particularly speed dating, take a small notebook or note pad and pen with you.  Jot down notes and names discretely as you meet people.  At a speed dating event you will likely have a pad so you can make notes as you meet people.  That is a good practice when you are at a singles event like a dinner party, especially if you are going to be exposed to a lot of people.

Relax, Smile and Have Fun!
The most important thing to do at a singles event is to relax, smile and have fun.  Don’t go into the situation with any expectation other than to have a good time.  Relax, try not to be nervous.  Smile, it makes you look friendly.  Just go into the event with an open mind. 

Don’t put any pressure on yourself to meet someone; you don’t have to go home with a pocket full of phone numbers.  You may meet one person, or you may meet several.  Strike up some conversations and have a ball.

By Gloria Gangi 

Speed Dating: The Sampler Platter of Dating

You are single – and looking.  Maybe you are looking for marriage, a long term relationship or even just an activity partner.  Nonetheless, you are looking.  And how are you looking?  The avenues are varied from online dating sites to matchmaking sites to having friends set you up.  Maybe that works out for you.  Maybe you meet interesting, fun people.  Or maybe you find that you spend many pointless hours clicking on ad after ad or meeting person after person only to find that after investing  your precious time in them that they aren’t what you are looking for after all.  Well, speed dating can change all of that.

Speed dating allows you to try out prospective dates before you actually commit to a “real” date.  You attend an event where you go through a series of mini dates, or sample dates, if you will.  These “dates,” lasting a few minutes each, allow you to evaluate several different people.  You can talk, ask questions and get a feel for each other.  At the end, you submit to the event coordinator the people you felt you connected with the most.  The coordinator typically arranges the “connections” and you can go from there.  This form of meeting people has several great benefits.

Speed Dating cuts Down on False Advertising
While personal ads may help you zero in on traits in a person that attract you, the number of photos and information that is inaccurate is staggering.  At a speed date event you get to see the person in the flesh, no photo that are misleading, old or of someone else.  No, you get to see the person as they are right then and there.

You Know up Front if Physical Attraction and Chemistry is There
When it comes down to it, physical attraction and chemistry are vital to a relationship – of any sort.  While personal ads can show you someone who looks good in the two dimensional world of photos and text on a page, speed dating brings that person to life.  And it is that living, breathing human sitting across from you that you feel attracted to or feel chemistry with, not a photo on a computer screen.

Speed Dating Saves Time
Instead of investing a lot of time emailing a person and talking on the phone only to meet them in person and find that the chemistry just isn’t there, you can meet people face to face and cut right to the chase.  You are either attracted to them or you aren’t and you don’t spend a lot of time figuring it out or chasing a dead end.

Meet More People at Once
Speed dating allows you to meet 6, 8 or even 10 people at one event.  You can meet, talk and evaluate, then choose the people who appeal to you the most.

Most Matches are Pre-Screened
Many event coordinators will “pre-match” groups so that the attendees meet certain criteria such as age or vocation.  This allows you to meet more people who are compatible with you and who can better understand your lifestyle.

You can get More Up Close and Personal
At a speed dating event, you can get a little more personal than you would if you were talking to someone on the phone for the first time or emailing them in answer to a personal ad.  You can ask them what they do for a living, if they have children or want children, if they have been married before, what their hobbies are and what issues are important to them.  If they don’t match up with your wants and needs, you simply move on to the next one in line.

Speed dating is a great way to meet new people and zero in on those candidates who best fit what you are looking for.   If you are single and interested in meeting someone special, give it a shot.  What have you got to lose?

How Dating Sites Can Work for You

It seems that everyone is going through some type of dating site to meet people.  And why not?  It is probably the easiest, most convenient ways to meet someone, especially if you have limited contact with the public for whatever reason.  Events are coordinated for you and all you have to do is show up. But there is still some confusion regarding just what it is and how it all works, so let’s break it down.
How do Dating Sites Work?
Dating sites are populated by a membership base that is dependent upon what people are looking for.  Some are very focused on long term relationships or marriage, while others are geared more toward those folks who want to improve their social life.  Still others, and probably the most popular ones, are a diverse group of various ages and dating goals.  They host events, like speed dating, that bring singles together face to face, allowing them to interact and get to know each other.
Who can Benefit From Dating Sites?
Really, anyone can benefit from dating sites.  Busy professionals, people who are shy or men and women who live in more remote areas are probably the most likely to turn to this type of dating.  Face it, some people just need a little help in the meeting people department and when it comes to someone of the opposite sex, they may need a LOT of help!  This means that anyone can benefit from dating sites, even you.
How can You Benefit From Dating Sites?
Joining a dating site is like having your own personal social organizer.  They do all the planning and you have all the fun.  You can check out speed dating or dinner date parties or some other fun event that your dating site has scheduled.  This also eliminates the awkwardness of a first date.  If you are talking to someone and they just don’t do it for you, you can excuse yourself and walk away.  You are in no way obligated to stick with one person throughout the event just because you are on a date with them – because you aren’t!  You both are on neutral territory.
What is Speed Dating?
Speed dating is a fun way to meet people face to face, learn a little about them and see if there is a match – only you multiply that by 6 or 8 or 10 in one evening.  Your “date” starts, you sit down, talk a bit and in a few minutes, it is time to change “dates.”  You do it again with a different person and again and again, all the while keeping track of who you liked, who interested you, who you would like to see again.  At the end of the event, your coordinator tallies up the scores (your “dates” were keeping score too) and makes matches based on mutual attraction.  The rest is up to you.
How can You get Started?
All you have to do is join a dating site and begin attending the events.  Be friendly, but be on your best behavior, no taboo topics or salacious behavior – you’re trying to impress someone, for criminy’s sake!  Most of all, though, relax and have a good time because that is what dating is really about.